melsbasketcase

flagged twice on youtube in the same week.

2011-10-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

The first video was flagged down and removed resulting in a strike on my account that expires in six months. A guy named HappyCabbie made a video directing people to a girl's video where she licked her feet. In response to that I made a video smoking with my toes. My video was titled, "For HappyCabbie: A Smoking Foot Fetish Video". Both me and the toe licking girl had our videos taken down.

Then HappyCabbie made a video about my video being taken down:
Melsbasketcase got flagged
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltJcHKbmZ-4
In response to that VoxNeruda smoked with his feet:
Hell is Hotter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkdilSZL33I&feature=watch_response
Then in response to that I sniffed my panties and the following video
was age-restricted:
I'm a panty sniffer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0DW5WYNCg0&feature=watch_response
I am mildly upset but flagging has happened to better, more popular people than me and they survived it without crumbling or going ballistic.

At least Tori's critics are classier than my trolls!

2011-10-06T23:01:00.000-07:00

Tori Amos - Trailer - Night of Hunters on YouTube

i think she's just thinking too much about everything. her earlier work packed so much visceral, emotional punch, and her later work seems so careful, and so carefully thought out. i'll give her another chance, but i'm not particularly optimistic. i even like the premise, and the narrative of internal, traumatic drama, but something tells me it's going to be the same tepidly constructed swill we've dealt with since "scarlet's walk".
MrZebra69 2 days ago

TEPIDLY CONSTRUCTED! Isn't that harsh? The last Tori CD I purchased was Scarlet's Walk. I think it is a wonderful album. The album that followed that was given to me on a burned CD from one of my YouTube subscribers. I, still to this day, have not sat and listened to the whole thing. There are a mixture of reasons why I abandoned my dedication to Tori's material. There was something missing and perhaps MrZebra69 described it best.

I purchased Night of the Hunters tonight on Amazon and I think this might be what I am hoping for. Her piano will be prominent in the work since she is working with classical music compositions. I remember when I saw her in Houston in the late 90's how wonderful it was that it was just her and Caton, her guitarist, on stage. I saw her in Detroit for "From the Choirgirl Hotel", (I think that was the album she was promoting at the time). It was a drastic departure from the piano girl days. It was in a huge arena with a full rock band.

So, anyway, it is interesting to note how even beautiful super-talents can have a fickle audience. As far as myself, my output has always been shiznit. Really, I am such an artist. Screaming into a webcam and showing off Japanese snacks. Okay, I will shut up now.

Jack in the Box closed in Tennessee?

2010-12-18T00:50:00.000-08:00

There is a Jack in the Box near the hotel we stay at in Tennessee. It is the halfway point on our way to Mississippi. The problem is it is no longer listed on Jack in the Box's website. That is a bummer for me because I always look forward to going there.

We leave early this morning. I will have to wait and see if that Jack in the Box is still open.

Another restaurant I look forward to going to is Whataburger. I have to wait until I am in Texas to go to one of those. I checked Whataburger's website and there is one in Jackson, Mississippi but that is no where near where my Dad lives.

Speaking of my Dad, he is in the hospital with pneumonia. I hope he can come home by Sunday when we land at his house. My brother is down there now.

Do you think that Factsheet Five and the availability of zines it reviewed was the precursor for platforms like youtube?

2010-11-24T02:21:00.000-08:00

A viewer of mine poses this question as a proposed essay topic, “Do you think that Factsheet Five and the availability of zines it reviewed was the precursor for platforms like youtube?” I think that blogging, vlogging, and companies like Lulu have replaced the some times costly method of publishing that was photocopying. Instead of paying up front to print your material at Kinko's, now you can upload a pdf file to a website like Lulu and only have to pay for your own personal printed copy of your work. Lulu takes a small amount out of your book's price but this is still less costly than spending five to ten cents per page at Kinko's.

Back in the days of photocopied zines, people who wished to remain anonymous had to rely on a post office box to protect their identity. The true anonymity came with the age of the internet. Skilled computer users have ways of hiding their computer's location. This has opened the door for internet trolls who can now harass people without any immediate repercussions. This has also spurred on the development of what certain parties call “cranks” and conspiracy theorists of all stripes to form their own online communities. Now instead of being totally alone in beliefs of reptilians and false moon landings, you can now turn on the computer and find people with similar beliefs. Perhaps this has changed the face of mental illness. Psychosis is a condition rarely shared. Many of us know that the, DSM, the diagnostic manual American psychiatrists formed has outlined in its book that culturally accepted beliefs are not included in its definitions for illness. As broadcasters such as Alex Jones can attest, you can have a large following and be deluded or a liar at the same time.

YouTube itself may have destroyed many a blogger's writing habits. It is much easier to make a quick webcam video than to sit in front of the screen staring at your own words. I am proof that this can lead to disastrous results. It was way too easy to let it all out on cam. This led to way too many instances where I made a video while enraged or tearful. And of course that is like a beacon to the trolls.

I hope that this was a satisfying answer to your question. Thank you very much for suggesting it.

What you talking about azrienoch? Does thecarruths eat ice cream on the psych ward?

2010-11-08T12:57:00.000-08:00

I had fifty dollars put into my PayPal by a nice person. I had offered to my YouTube audience to write a 500 word essay if they sent me two dollars. So, the way I figure it, I owe the anonymous person twenty-five essays.

Last night I decided to spend that money. One thing I wanted to get was a book by a person named thecarruths on YouTube. The book is titled “Waldeinsamkeit”. He has read poems from the book in his YouTube videos. I am not a huge fan of poetry but he said there was prose in the book too. So that book was the last thing I bought last night.

The first two books I got were on the bargain list at Barnes and Noble. I shopped there because they take PayPal. One was about a woman with bipolar. She wrote an earlier book about her eating disorder. She was diagnosed with bipolar after that. The other book was by a man who received a lobotomy as a boy in the 1960's or 70's.

After getting those two books, I searched for books on schizophrenia. Based on the search results, I had almost every memoir written by a schizophrenic person that was available. My search continued and I landed on the following book, “The Paradoxes of Delusion: Wittgenstein, Schreber, and the Schizophrenic Mind.” According to the product description, “Most schizophrenics, however, do not act as if they mistake their delusions for reality.” Doesn't that sound interesting?

The name Wittgenstein is familiar to me, only the name, not the thinking or the man, because Azrienoch and his friends, like thecarruths, used to speak at length about him in their videos. Maybe now I can have some familiarity with what the heck Azrienoch was talking about all that time.

The name Schreber is familiar to me because I bought a copy of “Memoirs of My Nervous Illness” years back. No, I have not read it yet.

“This is dog food,” says the voice. Thank you voice for reminding me, indirectly, that I am suppoosed to talk about ice cream on the psych ward. I know my writing is, as you say, “dog food.”

Yesterday, we went to the grocery store and I bought chocolate swirl ice cream cups. I got that kind of ice cream because it reminds me of the psych ward here in town. The big hospital here puts vanilla single serve ice cream cups in the freezer. That is one good thing they have there.

Pudding cups remind me of the psych ward in Ann Arbor. A lady that was a foot taller than me brought me pudding one day because I was skipping all the meals. This same lady said I looked like Elian Gonzales. I will never know if she was serious or if that was her humor. This lady was tall and overweight. There was a little young black lady who kept saying, “Praise Jesus” in group. The huge pudding lady tried to steal the little Jesus lady's sweater.

I saw the top half of a naked man on that ward. A nurse was showing me the bathtub, she opened the door and a man was in there taking a bath. We were supposed to tell them when we bathed. I imagine this is for safety. She scolded the man and I had to wait until someone got out of the shower.

I will end by telling you that the big tall lady offered to give me a makeover. I declined. She was kind of scary. She said, “You look like hell.” It has almost been ten years since that first time being sick.

Demonic Hamsters and the Word Whore

2010-11-06T15:33:00.000-07:00

Demonic Hamsters and the Word Whore

My name is Songlian and I am helping my adoptive mother, melsbasketcase, write essays. I received gifts from other cats online and in response to that a group of vicious female hamsters started calling me a whore. They whisper through the walls of this house. They are with me wherever I go.

These hamsters pretend to be my relatives, friends, and acquaintances. I have considered the possibility that these hamsters are demons. At times I hear deceased relatives trying to guide me into good decisions. The conflict is that I have developed an almost complete lack of trust with these things. It is a bit like having a friend or relative who will tell you they love you and then moments later fly at you with insults. I'm sure everyone can relate to that. The part they cannot relate is the part where only you can hear the insulting people.

“You're my....brown nose girl.” Isn't that funny? The shittiest thing is that the funniest insults that occur in my head are directed at me and do not feel like my own thinking. “Kowabunga.” WTF!

“She's going down.” Lionel Richie chimed in and had to say, “Hello, is it me you're looking for?”

The hamsters also hate my meds. When I take my med each night a motherly voice will smile. The bad thing is that other voices comment on how the pills may be shortening my life. I am on Zyprexa and it has a risk of causing weight gain which will contribute to the development of diabetes. For older patients, it can affect the heart. For most of the atypical antipsychotics, there is a strong warning to physicians to not prescribe the drugs to the elderly with dementia.

Last year seemed to drag on. I think I experienced a taste of what adult depression is like. Suffice it to say, there were many happy things that happened last year. Just there was something strong trying to drag me down.

“It's a tortured existence.” Wow, whoever said that is a bitter person. You cannot see from looking at that quote the intent of the speaker, but I can. It is a female who does not like me so much. They are insinuating that I am a fraud who is sucking off the government teat through Feline SSDI.

I remember a week or so ago a voice said, “He's a fag, Song.” I can't remember if that voice was male or female. I could also not determine who the “he” they were talking about was. Did they mean my son, Zatoichi is gay? Did they mean my adoptive father, Rob, is gay? Did they mean that one of the trolls was gay?

“You should not be writing this down.” “By rote.” “He's coming unglued.”

I wonder how artists like Tori Amos manage it. She has written many songs about her upbringing with her priest father. “It's a whole new bag.” She must not be all that fearful of him or her family. She is not afraid to write about how they affected her.

“It's full of typos.” “God, she is so dumb.” “What are they accusing you of?” “Tampon. Someone needs a tampon.” “This will kill you, Songlian.” Danny Elfman would like to close it with this, “Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.”

Filthy Hindsight Dream

2010-02-15T19:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I watched the video "in-your-face Atheists get their feelings hurt" by SableChicken on YouTube.

Last year was mildly mentally turbulent. I frame it as mild because there are people with schizoaffective disorder that have much nastier versions of psychosis. I was on Geodon all of last year. It stopped working for me at some point in the beginning of 2009. Probably due to the days I skipped doses and stayed up for way too many hours. Geodon requires food for it to metabolize in your system. I am the kind of person who cannot keep to things like that.

I am on Zyprexa now, 10 mg at night. It is working better than the Geodon. Things are still there but I do not feel their weight. You know how you are at a gathering and a nasty person walks in the room. You have a sharp intake of breath. The voices are kind of like that. Except they are sitting on top of my brain all day and can see everything.

When on Geodon it has seemed at moments that the voices can see in advance. I was getting awake time messages that seemed to predict what I would see on the computer. Last year was full of wild dreams, some of them relating to what I would see online. Which brings me back to SableChicken's video. Last night I had a Geodon kind of dream. In my dream I had a very small penis. When I woke up I thought, "Dagnabit, I thought I was through with pervo Geodon dreams!"

You might be thinking, "What the hell does that have to do with her video?" SableChicken used a clip from the girl she responded to where the girl says she has a three inch penis. So, I realized that Sable's verbal imagery is probably the cause of my dream last night. It was not a fast forward prophecy in miniature dream. It was as Rob would call it in his comic book writing style, a callback.

"Fast forward prophecy in miniature" is the term I have come up with for the times when something a voice said into my mind comes to life in the real world. I lost a lot of firm footing that I had in the previous psychotic episodes. In the previous episodes it was easier to see where in my memory of reality the voices came from. Last year, I kept getting tricked into thinking it was a consciousness out there or multiple consciousnesses that were speaking to me about these itty bitty events in the future.

YouTube - Troll Hamster Army Report One

2008-11-20T21:14:00.000-08:00

YouTube - Troll Hamster Army Report One

My new YouTube account.

Reintroduction to Vloggerheads - VloggerHeads

2008-11-19T08:41:00.000-08:00

Reintroduction to Vloggerheads - VloggerHeads---Here is my reintroduction video to Vloggerheads. One of the moderators invited me back there and Tom said it was okay.

Guess Who Is Back

2008-11-18T19:33:00.000-08:00

Two people who left YouTube or were suspended made appearances on my computer monitor today. The first person was female and had a steady stream of trolls. She had great difficulty with her trolls and she would react in video by cussing them out. She makes appearances every so often when there is drama surrounding trolls. Her haters have an acount dedicated to her old channel, it goes something like "FuckUsername2". I think she comes back to YouTube now to try and get the haters to take the videos down. She will not file a DMCA complaint out of fear of them obtaining her address.

So everytime there was drama on my channel involving haters she would be back leaving comments. She is one of the first people I subscribed to on YouTube. This was back when ZenArcher was bigtime with the Renetto and GregSolomon drama. She, renetto, and ZenArcher inspired me to start vlogging.

She has a very sour view of the site due to her interactions with haters. renetto came to her aid in video once when she was suspended.

The problem is when she makes appearances she can be rude to me. I do not know it is her at first and I block her or tell her off. If I am incorect about her situation then it is an honest mistake.

The other person I saw today also has alot of fans/haters. He has been suspended at least ten times now. He was very popular when he had his original channel. What happened to him, as I see it, was that he had a bad reaction to his trolls. I think they were photoshopping his family in a sniper's rifle and dropping his old address. He retaliated by dropping docs on someone he got into an internet scuffle with on another site.

Now to change the subject. It feels good that my email box is quiet and having no channel. I baked brownies today which is unusual for me. I read Erma Bombeck's book "If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I doing in the Pits".

I will turn off comments and blog with no feedback if necessary.

Rob bought me some powder blue sweatpants and I put them on tonight. I am wearing the blue Piggly Wiggly shirt I got from my aunt.

I have been sleeping alot more. I think I recognize now how the internet makes me sick.

Rob said it would be okay to blog.

2008-11-17T11:46:00.000-08:00

2bsirius got confused. I had copied and pasted a message from thepacmangroup troll and left it on her channel as a warning.

THEPACMANGROUP (1 week ago) Check out the channel '2bsirius'. I not sure, but I think she might be worth trolling.

It can be found on page 11, 12, 0r 13 of this comment board that is linked.

I am not going to have Rob private message her to clear up the misunderstanding. Rob said it should be okay for me to blog. A blog cannot be photoshopped. Well, I guess it can.

I do not have a YouTube account right now. If I start one then I am only letting a handful of people know. Right now I am thinking I will not be uploading videos of myself for a very long time. Unless Rob has me to something in video.

My date with a Monte Cristo almost threatened by bankruptcy!

2008-10-30T21:16:00.000-07:00

Bennigans Monte Cristo Sandwich Recipe | Recipezaar

I Googled "Bennigan's" to go to their website and get pictures of the Monte Cristo sandwich. They have no website anymore! Bennigan's filed for bankruptcy in July of this year. The Michigan locations are staying open through another company, but the site is no more. Wikipedia has more information on the company closing up shop.

Tomorrow is our eleventh wedding anniversary. We usually go to Bennigan's on our anniversary and I order a Monte Cristo.

It looks like I missed out on riding the Huckleberry Ghost Train this year. It was not meant to be this year. It is quite a drive from where we live. The price of gas is lower now but Rob did not want to make long trips lately.

The bill for the sidewalk came a week or two ago. We have thirty days to pay that off. They poured it earlier this month. They sent us the notice saying it needs to be fixed during the summer. At the time it was a minor drama for me. Because of the sidewalk we abstained from visiting my folks in Texas this year. We made the trip to visit my Dad in Mississippi though. We have saved enough for the sidewalk because we had the advance notice of several months.

Cutting: Scars Fade

2008-10-29T08:01:00.000-07:00

xsullengirlx Removed My Video from superangrymonkey

Re: xsullengirlx's email from superangrymonkey

xsullengirlx channel

I ran across this drama inadvertently through a clone channel. The clone posed as SpikeBravo and then trolled superangrymonkey with one of Spikebravo's more embarassing videos about his prowess as a lover. To summarize the drama, in case you do not want to watch the videos, a girl named xsullengirlx was satirized by superangrymonkey. He acquired one of her photos from LiveJournal and used it in his criticism of her. XSullenGirlX is a YouTube partner and has done an expansive series of videos on self-injury. Superangrymonkey saw one of her videos where she describes how to hide scars. From what I gather from his videos he feels that she is somehow encouraging or perhaps providing a means for people to continue to self-injure. Sullengirl filed a DMCA against superangrymonkey's video about her based on her reasoning that he had no right to use her image. Superangrymonkey has since filed a counter-claim. His argument is that her DMCA is false because she has no intention of pursuing legal action.

So from all of that, I have no real need to subscribe to either person. I watched sullengirl's video where she poses the question to herself, "Am I pro-self injury?" I do deal with a mental illness but her issue is not my issue. When I was in middle school one school year I was cutting on my arms for a period of months. I wore a long purple flannel shirt to hide my arms. I was in Houston at the time and we all know how warm it gets down there. During one school day, one of the counselors pulled me aside and demanded to see my arms. She was checking for "tracks" thinking I was an IV drug user. On another occasion my English teacher saw the cuts and yanked me by the arm to the counselor's office where they scolded me.

My parents response to my injuring was to strike me and to scold me verbally. Despite all these responses from the adults around me, it is something I outgrew. A relationship with a young man my age ended. That was the end of one source of grief. Another significant positive change is I was "promoted" into the ninth grade which meant entering high school. I failed the eighth grade twice and was promoted to the ninth grade through a program to give us a chance to change ourselves in high school. This was done for the older students.

I failed third grade in elementary but made it to fourth by changing myself into an honor roll student. Basically, I applied myself. I stuck with making good grades until middle school where I tried my hardest to be a cool headbanger. So, I turned it back around in ninth grade. It stayed that way until senior year. I dropped out in the beginning of that year and went to the local community college, took and passed the GED test.

It was my left arm that I cut on. The scars have faded to the point that you have to have my arm right up close to you to see them. That is a very good thing considering that one of the scars was the name of a young man. That has faded almost completely.

Maybe superangrymonkey has a point. I imagine some of the young people watching her still cut and do not put it in their past due to the amount that sullengirl talks about it. There are groups online called Pro-Ana and Pro-Mia. That is pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia. So I think it is much better for a young person to develop other interests besides focusing on the management and control of their illness.

Inconspicuous Consumption Links for the Day!

2008-10-28T18:50:00.000-07:00

This blog is starting to look like the Home Shopping Network with all the links to things I have purchased at real stores. I do very little shopping online except for my birthday and Christmas when my father sends money. At those times I buy books online through Amazon.

YamaMotoYama Oolong Tea-- This tea is sold at the Asian grocery store I go to for $1.99. I brew it for two minutes then add two spoonfuls of sugar to it. I have made iced tea with it before but it tastes better warm.

Jergens All-Purpose Face Cream-- I am now addicted to this face cream. I bought some at the Piggly Wiggly that my aunt owns in Mississippi. If I cannot find this at the stores up here then I doubt Rob will let me buy it online. I saw it for sale on Walgreen's website so maybe they will have it in the stores.

You ask too many questions!

2008-10-28T15:41:00.001-07:00

In the past, female YouTubers, I assume older females, with no videos ask me pointless personal questions. When personal questions and intrusive actions come from males then I get paranoid. When I was thirteen my family got a bulletin board system computer. I met an older man on it and he was aggressive about grooming me for sexual relations. We had phone conversations. I met that man in person and he is now serving a fifty year sentence for aggravated sexual assault of a child.

So when males are intrusive I picture the worst. I am not thirteen anymore but I picture scenarios of stalkers and being violated again. When females ask me "stupid" questions I sit in front of this monitor calling them "stupid bitches". I view them as stupid because they ask me questions that a search on Google would take care of. They are also stupid because they have offered little to nothing in the form of identifiable information about themselves and they expect me to "share".

So I ignore these people and hope they get the hint. It is better than blasting into them and telling them to drop dead.

There is also the issue of the people who know that I have a mental illness. They send private messages and ask me questions in comments about my opinions on various medications and treatments. I blocked some dumbass with Asperger's once and then he started private messaging my husband. Because this guy is a moron I will call his condition Assburgers.

Rosanna of the Amish: AGAIN!

2008-10-27T20:32:00.000-07:00

Amazon.com: Rosanna of the Amish: Joseph Warren Yoder: Books

The link goes to Amazon's listing of the book Rosanna of the Amish. I received a copy of that book for free from a book exchange last month. Tonight I was going through the book shelves in the living room looking for my copy of "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret" by Judy Blume. I was unable to find that book but I did find a second copy of Rosanna of the Amish. I must have purchased it at a resale shop somewhere along the way.

Yesterday the books in the computer room has assumed a new formation and for an hour or so I had convinced myself that someone broke into the house and rearranged books. In the midst of this irrational reasoning, I watched ProfMTH's video on John Dominic Crossan's "The Historical Jesus". I was quietly hysterical thinking ProMTH had broken into my house and stolen my copy of the book. Rob came upstairs and found it laying sideways on the bottom shelf of the big bookcase in the computer room. I have not read "The Historical Jesus". It is not written for someone with my little knowledge of The Bible and religious texts.

I was looking for "Are You There God, It Me Margaret" because Inmendham reads off a fictional book title, created by one his detractors, in his latest video. The fictional book title is "Are You There God, It's Me Gary". I wonder if Inmendham has ever read that Judy Blume book. I read it as a girl. I have pretty much saved all my books from childhood including my large collection of Archie comics. Well, large collection meaning one plastic tub full.

Good Day Turned Almost Bad

2008-10-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

Our friend came over today with a birthday cake for Rob and presents. The birthday cake had green icing with a Frankenstein Halloween mask on it. She gave Rob a Captain Morgan lightbox. She was not sure he would like it but I told her how Rob had envied the full-size Captain Morgan statue at Meijer. Rob has Captain Morgan boxers that he wears as pajamas in the warmer months.

She gave us a set of plates and mugs for our wedding anniversary that have old horror film movie poster art on them. The plates are square shaped. I am going to store them with the other plates. The last time we left out Halloween dishware for holiday decoration, the cats knocked over the candy dishes and broke them.

We went out to eat for lunch and for dinner. They rented some movies. I cannot sit down to watch a movie anymore. I start pacing and want to smoke.

So today was a good day but then it turned kind of poopy when I discovered several channels on YouTube dedicated to me. All of them were hater channels except one. One was from an admirer. That person has been bothering me for maybe a year now. If it is the same person, they were leaving me rude comments. I think this admirer considers that flirting. If it is the same person then they uploaded videos showing people being eaten by tigers. A clip from the latest Batman film was attached to one of my videos months ago showing the Joker up in a girl's face scaring her with the story of how he got his scars. If it is the same person, then they rated five stars a video response I was harassed with that showed a movie clip of a couple being dragged out of a van and sexually assaulted.

So I feel better writing about this. This blog entry is a far better method of venting than making a video and continuing the cycle with the haters.

When I get feelings like this I want to take my meds again for the evening although I have already taken them. I write down when I take my pills on a calendar in the bathroom. I am on Geodon and it does not produce a feeling of tranquility like a benzo drug, like Ativan would. What my meds do is they diminish delusions and hallucinations. I have had touches of akathisia due to these meds, a feeling of inner restlessness. A couple of years back I was thumping my foot when seated or lying down. I was bouncing it. So as far as I understand, the reason patients do things like rocking and pacing is not due to the illness but the meds. I have not had a problem with that feeling of akathisia, the foot thumping, in a couple of years now.

To entirely change the subject, I would like to know why grocery stores do not offer chamomile tea in quantities larger than 20 bags per box. Chamomile tea has calmed me down before and even made me drowsy. I made a two quart jug of chamomile iced tea. I drank most of it in one day and I got drowsy.

I have two large boxes of oolong tea and jasmine tea. The jasmine tea is green tea infused with jasmine so it has less caffeine than the oolong or orange pekoe you buy at Meijer. I made some jasmine iced tea today.

I think I am burned out on Jarritos's Lime soda. One of those a day will do me. One some days I drink soda all day. But on days where I feel bad I switch to milk or chamomile tea.

Looking back, the warmer months are bad for my nerves. There is more activity and noise outside. When I am in a paranoid state of mind this wrecks me up.
Schizophrenia, Sensory Gating, and Nicotinic Receptors

Here is another question for the day: Why are medical journal abstracts available for free while the full article requires a subscription to the journal? Someone had suggested to me a workaround for this and I have long since forgotten it. The article on sensory gating I linked above pans out because those results have been replicated in numerous articles. There is an abstract floating out there that says family members of those with schizophrenia have issues with sensory gating as well.

I did tell people on Youtube about this blog. Perhaps low traffic is a good thing.

YouTube - Obama supporter brutalizes & mutilates McCain volunteer!

2008-10-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

YouTube - Obama supporter brutalizes & mutilates McCain volunteer!

The link above goes to a YouTube video by JohnDVillarrealEsq. I am pleased to find out my initial skepticism of this case panned out.

Republican volunteer charged over false claim of mutilation by Obama supporter

...police cast doubt upon her claims after video surveillance failed to
show her at the cash machine. She was asked to take a polygraph test. As her
story unravelled, she was eventually forced to admit that she had invented the
incident.

It is not clear how she got the mark on her face but a photograph that
has surfaced on the internet shows the “B” to be backwards, suggesting she may
have cut it herself using a mirror.

YouTube Hygiene Avolition Tips

2008-10-23T23:17:00.000-07:00

Do you have a problem with staying in front of your computer every free hour that you have? Has this led to you not eating properly and viewing things such as bathing a chore? If you answered yes to those two questions then you have a YouTube hygiene avolition problem. Avolition being lack of motivation or interest.

The most reasonable cure for this problem is taking a vacation from the computer. Important news will arrive by phone. You do not need to be in front of a monitor awaiting news that Freddy Krueger is going to egg your house. If it is an emergency involving your house and eggs (and someone finds out in advance) then the anti-house-egging police will tell you. They will send Humpty Dumpty in his uniform to tell you.

The dumbest, most irrational cure for YouTube hygiene avolition problem is the "changing tops" and "fixing your hair" techniques. This is where you change t-shirts and pull back your hair not letting on that molds have started to grow on your skin.

So that is dumb. Have you seen the commericials for Calgon? A woman has frazzled nerves and she immerses herself into a tub of bubbles saying "Calgon, take me away!" Do you know what will happen if you are not like that woman? Nothing really. Nothing, meaning Humpty Dumpty will knock on your door bringing a sourdough cheeseburger tree. Because you do not bathe each and every day you will not enjoy the fruits of Humpty Dumpty's sourdough cheeseburger tree.

That is something to think about, tomorrow, when begrudgingly soak in a tub and scrub molds off yourself.

Good Sojourners Article and their Code of Conduct.

2008-10-23T14:24:00.000-07:00

Letter to the Man Who Yelled at Me by Jeannie Choi---This link goes to an article on Sojourners magazine's website.

Their Comment Code of Conduct
I will express myself with civility, courtesy, and respect for every member of the Sojourners online community, especially toward those with whom I disagree—even if I feel disrespected by them. (Romans 12:17-21)

I will express my disagreements with other community members' ideas without insulting, mocking, or slandering them personally. (Matthew 5:22)

I will not exaggerate others' beliefs nor make unfounded prejudicial assumptions based on labels, categories, or stereotypes. I will always extend the benefit of the doubt. (Ephesians 4:29)

I will participate in community accountability by rating posts up or down based not on what ideas are expressed but on how they're expressed, and will flag posts that violate these rules of conduct. (Proverbs 12:18)

Junk Mail from GuidePosts subscription?

2008-10-23T12:02:00.000-07:00

Harriet Carter Featured Products Sleeping Pet Actually "Breathes"-----I received a Harriet Carter catalog in the mail today along with the latest issue of GuidePosts. I subscribed to GuidePosts because it reminds me of my Grandmother. She passed away a year or two ago. My father was clearing out her stuff to make room for his belongings and I requested her old copies of Guideposts.

So I have a small shoebox full of Guideposts from the early 1990's now. I had misplaced that box in this packrat house of ours so I subscribed to the magazine out of desperation. I have since found the shoebox. The new copies of GuidePosts have not been read and now I am on a junk mail list. I do not mind the junk mail so much. If the Harriet Carter catalog is due to my GuidePosts subscription then I have been spammed with a treat.

I have never ordered anything from Harriet Carter but I enjoy browsing the catalog. My Grandmother and Mother would order from the company when they were alive.

Above is a link to a stuffed animal that "breathes" from Harriet Carter. I am not going to order it and I am sure my cats would attack it if I brought it in the house.

I purchased a Bible laid out in chronological order from Guideposts. I was reading it daily while on vacation but have not touched it since then. So I stopped in the middle of Exodus. I stopped in the middle of Exodus when I tried a straight read-through of the KJV.

This is changing the subject but I subscribed to the Upper Room email newsletter. My Grandmother used to get those sometimes. My father goes to a Methodist church so he brought them home for me while I was visiting him. I do not read them everyday but on days when the subject seems applicable I read it and look at the passage from the Bible.

Yippee! I found my dandelion jelly!

2008-10-22T18:06:00.000-07:00

Yoder's Fine Foods---This link goes to the company that produces the dandelion jelly that I fell in love with. We purchased two jars of it at an Amish general store several months ago. Rob set one jar in a cupboard and forgot about it. Rob had me convinced that I only purchased one jar. I was so glad that Rob found that jar tonight.

The general store sells the jelly for $1.75 but it is over an hour away. I am wanting to send some of it to my niece. My niece recently had surgery so I sent her some teas, rice crackers, incense, and a Winnie the Pooh shirt.

So, I am very glad to find the jelly online. It is inexpensive enough that it gives me gift ideas for Christmas. Rob usually cans salsa for Christmas. For awhile there, our friend's mother was paying Rob for jars of salsa.

Don't ask me what I make for Christmas. Rob is the cook and I am the dishwasher.

Queen Helene: Creams

2008-10-22T14:52:00.000-07:00

Queen Helene: Creams--Greasy Faced Moisturized Loser

If the link works then it will go to the page for Queen Helene creams. I bought a small jar of the cocoa butter cream at the dollar store. The jar says it is good for crow's feet. When I squinch my face up you can see what I will look like when I am 50. I had horrible acne as a teen and could not put things like Queen Helene on my face. I do not break out that often anymore.

The worst moisturizer I have ever put on my face was something from Loreal. It came in a jar and was the consistency of a liquid. A few moments after applying it to my face I would get a warming sensation. It was not like my face was on fire but it just felt wrong.

I was using Pond's Dry Skin Cream on a regular basis for several months. It is not greasy like Queen Helene and it absorbs into the skin fairly quickly. The Queen Helene kind of just sits on my face like I have been wiping french fries on it.

My aunt owns a Piggly Wiggly and I bought some Jergen's Face Cream in a huge jar there. It is the all purpose cream. It can be used like a cold cream or left on overnight as a moisurizer. My Grandmother used cold cream to wash her face.

I showed on my YouTube channel the Piggly Wiggly reusable shopping bags I bought at Piggly Wiggly. All the clerks at the stores up here in Michigan love them. I have noticed that all the grocery store chains I go to up here are selling those shopping bags.

I have a bad habit of saying "anyways". I picked that up from my nieces. So, anyways, I am addicted to moisurizer now. When the jar says "apply liberally", I take it as a command.

Warm Tea and Comfort Foods

2008-10-21T22:05:00.000-07:00

I had the brilliant idea of committing to a plan of daily blogging. Like most things in my life I foresee myself giving up on this plan very quickly. It is one in the morning as I write this and already the day has gone on long enough. So for me to stick with my plan I thought that I would blog in the morning.

I have been on YouTube for over two years now. I was looking through people's old videos today and realizing the amount of personal grudges that have built up on that site. Also, it made me think of how much time I have spent on that site and how much thought and anxiety I have created for myself based on events and people from that site.

I hold up books in videos on my YouTube channel all the time. The majority of these books collect dust in my home. I crack them open for video ideas. The most recent book that I have read to completion is Erma Bombeck's "A Marriage Made in Heaven: Or Too Tired for an Affair". Unlike the religious texts I spent months collecting I found her book to be something comfortable and reassuring to read.

This time of day is not a good time to make videos or even blog. At this time of day I have spent hours following intense drama on YouTube and causing myself mental irritation.

What you focus on does have a great impact on your outlook. Several years back I would spend my entire day poring over Google news for articles on mental health. I managed to make that passion into a negative thing because I flooded an email group with news articles on the subject. The people on that group grew irritated with me. Their group was dedicated to the discussion of the Pacifica radio network and the newly formed governance bodies of that network. I felt slighted at the time because others on that group shared information on what they viewed as more pressing matters of subjects like global politics and activism. Well, I am not cut out to discuss global politics.

I am cut out for vlogging about cream of chicken soup. That is about as controversial as I should aim to be.

This is where I say "anyways" and try to wrap this up. My YouTube channel has grown very quiet and that is probably a blessing. It feels good to be out and knowing people have not seen my channel.

So, stay boring. And you will be alright.

Greasy faced crooked yellow teeth blog.

2008-05-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

There I got here before Lemonholes did.

My new radio gadget!

2008-05-01T19:07:00.000-07:00

I had two websites, one on Angelfire and the other on Tripod. I deleted them both when I closed my YouTube channel in 2007. I have since reopened my YouTube channel. So, here I am on a blog again.

I spent two hours picking songs for my Fine Tune gadget. The idea came from Brett Keane's website. Brett has the gadget on his front page. His website can be found at http://www.keanevision.magnify.net/

I considered creating an account on magnify.net but I do not feel that it is necessary. On magnify you are limited to (I think) ten 50 mb uploads a week. Wouldn't that hinder my style?

Oh, I am listening to my finetune squawk box now and it shuffled all the songs. I had no control over their order. That sucks somewhat. If I had the intention of creating themes then that theme is destroyed. For example, if I had set two songs by different artists with the word "information" in the title beside each other.

Below is a list of the songs I picked. The font is pink like my kitchen walls.

2 Live Crew
Get It Girl Extended Mix
Greatest Hits Vol. 2

Ani Difranco
Adam and Eve
Dilate

Ani Difranco
Joyful Girl
Dilate

Art Of Noise
A Time for Fear (Who's Afraid)
Daft

Bronski Beat
Smalltown Boy
New Wave Hits of the '80's Vol. 14

Cibo Matto
Apple
Viva! La Woman

Cibo Matto
Sugar Water
Viva! La Woman

DMX
What's My Name
...And Then There Was X

Doris Day
Bewitched
Doris Day'S Greatest Hits

Doris Day
Pillow Talk
16 Most Requested Songs - Encore!

Eric Johnson
Cliffs of Dover
Live From Austin TX

Eric Johnson
Desert Rose
Live From Austin TX

Eric Johnson
Trail Of Tears
Tones

Fishbone
Fight the Youth
The Reality Of My Surroundings

Fishbone
Sunless Saturday
The Reality Of My Surroundings

Joe Satriani
I Believe/Interview
Flying In A Blue Dream

Joe Satriani
The Feeling/Interview
Flying In A Blue Dream

Joe Satriani
The Forgotten (Part One)
Flying In A Blue Dream

Kate Bush
Head's Were Dancing
The Sensual World

Kate Bush
This Woman's Work
The Sensual World

Kate Bush
Walk Straight Down the Middle
The Sensual World

King's X
Everywhere I Go
Faith Hope Love

King's X
Legal Kill
Faith Hope Love

King's X
The Difference
Gretchen Goes To Nebraska

Kraftwerk
Boing Boom Tschak (LP Version)
Electric Cafe

Kraftwerk
Electric Cafe (LP Version)
Electric Cafe

Laurie Anderson
Credit Racket (Remastered LP Version)
Talk Normal: The Laurie Anderson Anthology

Laurie Anderson
Gravity's Angel (Remastered LP Version)
Talk Normal: The Laurie Anderson Anthology

Laurie Anderson
O Superman (For Massenet) (Remastered LP Version)
Talk Normal: The Laurie Anderson Anthology

Living Colour
Information Overload
Super Hits

Living Colour
Open Letter To A Landlord
Super Hits

Living Colour
Type
Super Hits

Musical Youth
Pass the Dutchie
The Wedding Singer (Soundtrack)

Nina Hagen
Universal Radio (Universal Dance Mix)
14 Friendly Abductions

Rammstein
Buck Dich
Sehnsucht

Ry Cooder
Paris, Texas
Paris, Texas: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Shigeru Umebayashi, Kathleen Battle
The Echo Game
House of Flying Daggers (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

Talking Heads
Wild Wild Life
True Stories

The Police
Invisible Sun
Ghost In The Machine

The Police
King Of Pain
Every Breath You Take: The Classics

Tori Amos
(Ambient) Raspberry Swirl (Scarlet Spectrum Feels version)
Cruel/Raspberry Swirl

Tori Amos
All The Girls Hate Her(EP Version)
God/Home on the Range/All the Girls.../Over

Tori Amos
Over It(EP Version)
God/Home on the Range/All the Girls.../Over

Was (Not Was)
What Up Dog?
What Up, Dog?

Yaz
Don't Go
The Perfect Beats Volume 1

10:28 PM-----I have allowed my chimichanga to grow cold. Belching and flipping the bird to people on video is so much easier than writing. Rob wishes for me to release my book again. It is a compilation of my zine which was called The Basketcase.

People have been criticized for selling books through Lulu on YouTube. TheAmazingAtheist, saturninefilms, and Brett Keane come to mind. If I do sell a book on Lulu again I think it will be about my cats, the troll hamsters, and the baby sasquatches.

10:35 PM-----Guess what? I am sick of my own playlist.

I do not think I should let this blog be like my zine and my old bozo blogs. This is a bozo post.